Oh what a week I have had..... with all the homework I have been doing and being a little emotionally unstable, it was tough. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. I've really been struggling with feeling that I haven't been the friend that God wants me to be. Last week it hit me hard and I could feel satan attacking me. I had this nagging voice telling me that I need to be a better friend, that I don't talk to my friends enough, and that I don't deserve them.....the hard part was that I believed it. I took it to heart and it eat me up inside. Every night I read my bible trying to find answers, trying to find reasons not to believe the voice,and it helped it gave me reassurance, but every morning it was back. Mocking me, and pushing me farther down. The ironic thing is that the good came at night and the bad came during the day. Isn't light supposed to represent good and dark represents evil? So why am I feeling this horrible evil when I am in the light? I don't know the answer.... I don't know why I am feeling this way. But, I was tired, physically and emotionally. I didn't know where to go or what to do. I just kept it all inside hoping that it would go away. I went to church on Sunday and this was one of the verses Pastor Rich spoke about.
"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11: 28-30
I want all my friends to know that I love and care about you guys sooo much. I'm sorry if I have not been there for you guys.... I really want to be. I wanna know what is going on with you and I want to hear where your heart it at. I want to know when you are struggling and I want to be there for you to pray for you and encourage you. I really do. Love you all.
4 comments:
i'm sure your friends will understand if you take some time to find yourself, and calm your inner voice. hell, if they can't .. then they don't deserve you to call you 'friend' .. it's not selfish to charish the quiet moments you're able to have.
You have a good heart, and a gentle spirit. Don't allow the enemy to rob you of your joy.
Remember that Satan shows himself as an angel of light [see 2 Corintians 11:14]. It can be rough at times, but hold on to your faith as the most precious gems of your walk with Christ comes through the fires of life.
Lord I pray your protection over your child and that you will give her the strength and wisdom to help her with her school work. Bring peace and your joy to her spirit.
In Jesus name.
Hi there I discovered your blog cause someone from here visited mine first. I am not an overly religious person but I am a bit of a "wise man" amongst my circle of people here in NY. So here goes my attempt at advice.
Well too be honest I think you are banking too much on your spiritual aspect and not paying enough attention to what you need. It is natural to feel guilt over feelings but you cant control the lives of everyone. Just one person, yourself. I am fond of this quote a wiseman bestowed upon me once. He said "In the darkest hole there is always light, you just have to open your eyes to see it." Or as Master Confucious said "If one learns from others but does not think, one will be bewildered. If one thinks but does not learn from others, one will be in peril." Just go with what is right and natural.
Shisha...
you are a normal college freshman! Things have changed a lot this year with the change of location. Each time you turn to the Word for help the enemy keeps getting knocked back further. Keep looking up and seeking the heart of God! And... you are one of the best friends anyone could have. You are wonderful and we all love you more than you will ever understand!
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