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Monday, June 06, 2005

I Will Wait

So all I can say about the past three weeks is "wow". God has revealed himself to me so many times and in so many ways. He has given me peace and understanding about my future that I have never had before. I finally feel that I am at a place where I can say that God has broken me of all the things in my past and I am now able to use those things to help others in their walk with the Lord. Let me tell ya its a good feeling! I've stopped dwelling on my mistakes and have begun to use them as a way to encourage others.

When I went to Blaze a few weeks ago God revealed to me that I had let go of some of my dreams. I had let Satan get a hold of them and rip them apart. I let Satan tell me that I was no longer worthy of these dreams and I didn't deserve them. I let go of these dreams without even knowing it, that's how Satan works. He does things slowly so that you don't notice it right away. These may have been small things that I desire for my future, but they were genuine. God reminded me of these things that I once dreamt about, and he re-lit that flame. Telling me that no matter what I have done I am still worthy of what He wants for me and I always will be. I let people take away these dreams. But they were not their dreams, they were mine. I just need to make sure I am letting God hold on to these dreams too other wise I may loose them again.

A verse that has stuck with me lately is psalm 62:5,

" My soul, wait thou only upon God...."

I tend to want to wait on the people around me, looking to others for guidance. I have become inpatient because I do that. I want to wait only for God. When I wait on the people around me I get inpatient, frustrated and hurt. These past few weeks I have been focusing on being patient, and waiting for Him. It has been so good for me. I have really seen God begin to give me a patient heart that is beginning to understand the gifts He has given me, and finally seeing where he wants to use me. He is preparing me for something soo great, I don't know what it is, but God has been building me up for it. As I wait I am learning to trust God more and more. The longer I wait the more trust I have in Him. Right now I feel like I am sitting in a huge waiting room, just waiting for my name to be called. I don't know when it will be or what it will be for, but I know that it will be amazing. There is nothing in this world that makes me happier than pleasing God. Don't wait on people, they are only of the world. Wait on God for he created the World.

There is a song by Shane and Shane, it's also a psalm, that says exactly what my heart is feeling.

psalm 13 by shane barnard

how long oh Lord will You forget me
how long oh Lord will You hide
hide Your face from me
how long must i wrestle with me
and everyday have sorrow in my heart
sorrow in my heart

I will wait on You
I will wait on You
I will wait on You

look on me Lord and answer me
give my eyes light or I will sleep in death
I will sleep in death
my enemies say "I will overcome him"
and my foes rejoice even when I fall
I don't want to fall

for I will trust in Your unfailing love
my heart rejoices in Your salvation
I will sing to the Lord


*Be Patient. Wait on the Lord. Dwell in His presents.*